Motherhood
Award Winner
2021: Illumination Book Awards
Gold medal in the 2021 Illumination Book Awards, Parenting/Family category, sponsored by the Jenkins Group.2021: PROSE
Finalist in the 2021 PROSE Award, sponsored by the Professional and Scholarly Publishing Division, Association of American Publishers.
A meditation on the conversions, betrayals, and divine revelations of motherhood.
What if Augustine's Confessions had been written not by a man, but by a mother? How might her tales of desire, temptation, and transformation differ from his? In this memoir, Natalie Carnes describes giving birth to a daughter and beginning a story of conversion strikingly unlike Augustine's—even as his journey becomes a surprising companion to her own.
The challenges Carnes recounts will be familiar to many parents. She wonders what and how much she should ask her daughter to suffer in resisting racism, patriarchy, and injustice. She wrestles with an impulse to compel her child to flourish, and reflects on what this desire reveals about human freedom. She negotiates the conflicting demands of a religiously divided home, a working motherhood, and a variety of social expectations, and traces the hopes and anxieties such negotiations expose. The demands of motherhood continually open for her new modes of reflection about deep Christian commitments and age-old human questions.
Addressing first her child and then her God, Carnes narrates how a child she once held within her body grows increasingly separate, provoking painful but generative change. Having given birth, she finds that she herself is reborn.
"Natalie Carnes has written a beautiful companion and challenge to Augustine's Confessions. This book will be a gift to those hungry for literature that reflects the truth of women's relationship to the divine in our creaturely bodies and a theology of motherhood that reflects lived experience."—Jessica Mesman, author of Love & Salt: A Spiritual Friendship in Letters
"Natalie Carnes' remarkable meditation on motherhood, in conversation with Augustine's Confessions, is destined to become a classic itself. Her prose is vivid; her insight is penetrating; her honesty is disarming. This is a book that has been waiting 1,600 years to be birthed. Carnes has brought forth a masterpiece."—James K.A. Smith, author of On the Road with Saint Augustine
"Parenting can feel terrifyingly lonely, in part because it conjures emotions wholly unique to the endeavor. Natalie Carnes reflects on her own motherhood in this moving memoir alongside the progenitor of the genre, Augustine's Confessions—a risky undertaking, but accomplished brilliantly. Motherhood is a book to be savored."—Tony Jones, author of Did God Kill Jesus? Searching for Love in History's Most Famous Execution
"This brave, earnest book brings to the contemporary literature on motherhood a new, distinctively religious voice."—Clare Carlisle, Times Literary Supplement
"Imitating the voice, form, and tone of theConfessions,Natalie Carnes invokes Augustine as interlocutor, honoring the text's literary and moral merits while challenging the blind spots inherent in its masculine perspective. In so doing, she enriches our understanding of human nature and the nature of the divine, revealed in the intimacy exchanged between mother and child."—Catherine Ricketts, Ploughshares